On #mentorship, and the massaging of egos.

Sometime back in July, I received an email from NUS Faculty of Law containing a feedback form.

I responded without putting too much thought into it, and went about my merry way.

I was therefore a little surprised when Jo-Ann Chan reached out, asking if the National University of Singapore Law Alumni Mentor Programme team could share my feedback in a briefing for new mentors, and even went to the trouble to prepare a layout.

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For the unacquainted, the mentor programme, or LAMP for short, "aims to connect current law students with experienced alumni lawyers who can guide and provide insights on the legal profession, career choices and even navigating law school."¹

Every year, when I receive the email invitation to volunteer for another year, I say yes without hesitation, but without thinking too much as to why.

I've always assumed that it's largely due to force of habit, and so that I can tell myself that I'm giving back to my alma mater in some small way.

But I've always had a sneaky little thought at the back of my head:

Am I saying yes just to massage my ego?

After all, many of us would find it flattering to be put in a position where a younger mentee looks up to us with eager eyes, waiting on every drop of sagely homespun wisdom that we deign to dispense,² like manna from heaven.³

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Look, I'll fess up - I don't know if there's an element of ego involved, in my decision to say yes every year.

And hand on heart, there might be.

But I do know that being honest and candid with myself about this possibility allows me to better guard against being guided solely by selfish motivations.

And it reminds me to:

(a) hold space for my mentees, instead of simply regurgitating my life story⁴;
(b) at group events, encourage my fellow mentors to share more, even if it's at the expense of my own blathering; and
(c) use the questions I'm asked as a genuine opportunity for self-reflection, and not a vehicle for glib smug answers that reinforce how well I'm doing in every aspect of my professional and personal life.⁵

And there is no doubt in my mind that the mentorship experience is one that can bring tremendous value for mentors as well as mentees.

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As always, many thanks to the NUS team, including Genevieve C., Shaun Kang, Shi Ning Kong, for tirelessly running this programme.